Sling Loads never tell you what a great pilot you are

There are freight pilots and there are passenger carrying pilots in fixed wing operations and in helicopter operations there are charter pilots and there are external load pilots. Most helicopter pilots do both types of flying but some helicopter pilots never ever want to fly people under any circumstance. They have their reasons.

A sling load will not puke in your helicopter. (or bleed,scream,yell into the intercom,etc.etc…)

External loads may not behave but you never have to listen to them misbehaving.

An external load may be heavier than anticipated but it won’t argue with you that you have to fly it anyways

Hookers will sometimes argue with you when they overload you but then that white hooked mess will even the score.

Hookers can be vindictive and payback can be tough so maybe grapple logging removes part of that human confrontation.

A bucket load of stinky water isn’t pleasant but it beats a nasty passenger fart in a closed cockpit.

When you are running out of power, altitude and ideas the external load can go. Its much harder to jettison passengers.

A sling load will not leave a seat belt hanging out the door. (again)

External loads can not slam the doors. (again)

Sling loads don’t forget their lunches, hookers do. Also jugheads,drillers,tree planters etc..,etc..

Lunches slung to hookers don’t complain about getting bashed around on the hook.

Hookers who complain about the condition of the lunch flown to them should watch closely the next hook shot.

Grapples don’t always work but they work better than some hookers do!

I digress .

An external load will never tell you how great a pilot you are.

A properly flown long line operation requires no comment or affirmation by anyone.

You can fool a passenger about your flying abilities.

A long line sling load not flown properly wouldn’t fool a five year old.

You can curse a blue streak about a difficult sling load.

A difficult passenger just wonders why the red faced pilot is talking to himself.

I have more ,many more, but you get the idea. This little blog may mean not much to many of you but to those few of you that get it , feel free to email me your additions or add some to the comments below.

Fly Safe, be well.

About Heligypsy

Has it really been forty-seven years flying helicopters all over the world? I guess it's time to share some stories, I hope you enjoy my adventures.
This entry was posted in Flying Stories, Helicopter Pilot. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Sling Loads never tell you what a great pilot you are

  1. Jonathan says:


    You forgot that a sling load will never key the mic and hold their wrist watch alarm up to the mic just to see what would happen. (for those of you who don’t know, the engine out alarm sounds identical) I am sure I shaved a year off your life with that little stunt. In my defense I think I was about 11 at the time. Keep the stories coming. They are always a pleasure to read.

  2. Thanks Adam, but believe me when I say that there were a lot more stunts you pulled that were much worse. You know them and with the exception of Tomoko,your secrets are safe with me. LOL

    Love, Dad

  3. Trever says:

    Passengers do keep their ass on the seat cushions vs long lining without doors installed.

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